Thursday, April 30, 2009

My brain

Could I ask you a question?
Sure, what is it?
Well ok, how did you wake up this morning?
Well I woke up at 10am, then I moved from my bed to my couch, laid there for an hour, and then moved back to my bed fro 2 hours.
Why did you just lay around?
I wasn't feeling well.
Oh, well I'm sorry about that.
It's fine. It was weird though, I haven't felt like that in a while. It wasn't that bad, it was just interesting to feel...not important.
Not important? What do you mean by that?
Well, you know when you wake up in the morning and you feel like you have something to do that day?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Well this morning I woke up and felt like there was no point in leaving my bed, or rather the laying down position. Almost as if I didn't have anything important to do that would require me to get out of bed.
Don't you have stuff to do though? Finals are this week and next, I'm sure you do.
Oh, I do, don't get me wrong, I have shit to do, it's just I felt like I didn't. It was freaky.
I think you used to many commas by the way. That is a lot of commas.
Well thank you for that.
Anytime. So how did you get out of this feeling?
Well I took a shower and left my place. I did things that I had to do. That's really it. When I feel like that it's a catch 22. I don't want to get up and do anything, but when I do stuff I feel better. If I stay in Bed I feel worse. It blows.
Are you ok now?
Yeah, I guess. I still kinda feel the same though. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
Well I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll be fine. I'm just being stupid right now.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Metal in my head

Over the past few days I have written here a lot more then I have been in the past few months. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. I tend to look at it as a good thing.

Yesterday I went to a tattoo parlor and had my eyebrow pierced. Now some of you might ask me why I did it. I suppose everything needs a reason and there is one for this too. Do you really want the full explanation though? I mean, I can give it to you in a sentence. Ready? I was sick of trying to look like other people and I wanted something new. There, I like it.

It didn't hurt at all and I was really happy with the outcome. For one thing i was excited to show a friend in particular. That friend liked it by the way and that made me feel better about my decision.

Yes I chose to do it on my own and prove that I was a grown up, but we all need some validation. Hahaha It's funny how I wanted to be separate and yet i still wanted a little appeal from others.

I got home and help a surprise party for a friend. I was ready to take it from all sides. I knew that I was going to be made fun of and hassled about it. I was ready. I think I handled it well. I don't think they thought I was going to actually do it either. I did want some positive comments though. I didn't really get any from my friends here.

When I talked to that friend though it made it ok. She liked it. And then I tweeted it and people on twitter liked it. One thing that I have come to realize is how there are people out there that will like something just like you like it. I really like that about all the social networking I do. Helps me get through the shit of my "IRL" friends. Sometimes the interscapes seems more real to me then real life. If I could have all my internet friend here with me I'm sure that it would be a lot of fun.

Some people say that people that you meet online aren't real, but I tell them to fuck off. The people that I meet online are very real and very real friends.

I thank them for that.

Anyway, I got a piercing and I like it. Now for the family attacks. I'm not to excited about that.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

YouTube, Comics, Ultimate

Who should I make this out to? I'm not sure if I should write it to Z or to R. Well if I write it to Z it will be about something different then if I write it to R.
Hm, well that is a problem. I mean you could write it to both I suppose.
Half to Z and the other to R? No, I think that Z is a topic that I want to hit on more then the topic with R.
Well get on with it then. I'm sure everyone is waiting.
Ok, thanks.

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So last night I had a talk with you about how I have changed. How I am different and you don't think that we have anything in common anymore. How when we were dating you felt like all we talked about was what I was interested in. I can see how that would be a problem.

We ended the conversation and I wasn't that upset about it. You know what we talked about and so do I so there is no point going over it again.

I called you again today because it was on my mind last night and I had to ask you a question. We talked again, I asked what I needed to, got the response and that was that.

So I guess that we can't be friends. In all honesty I am not that upset. Not in the slightest. Like you said we have both been doing our own thing and it seems to be working out for the both of us.

It's weird to think that we had all that time together just to realize that we actually don't have that much in common. I mean it has been 6 months since everything went down and I'm not surprised to find out all this stuff.

I like what I like now. I am what I am now. I'm making friends that are interested in those kind of things. People that like me for what I'm interested in. I'm glad you are doing the same.

I can finally look at pictures of us and see the good times we had. Kinda. *smirk*

So if you don't think that we can be friends that's cool. I think we can still be the same as what we are now. I like that. Even though it doesn't really entail that much contact. Whatever it is now is what it's going to stay for a while. I think.

There really isn't more to say. Yeah...I'm done.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Dream World while Awake

You know in the Movies when people talk about being in dream world and the real world at the same time?

That is where I am right now. That is what I feel like. After staying awake more then 24 hours and getting one hour of sleep, I don't know what plane of existence I'm on.

You ever feel like that? I mean wow. This is freaky. It's almost as if I'm morning drunk and at the tail end of being high at the same time. Add sleep deprivation and body exhaustion and you have me.

While riding my bike I realized that I could barley pay attention to my surroundings and I don't have good motor skills. FREAKY!!!

I hope you all enjoyed my story. I was reading over it and wanted to delete though whole thing. At the same time though, I thought that it was cool that you could see what I was thinking when I wrote a sentence. I'm lame aren't I? I bet anyone that read the whole thing got to the end and thought, "Dear God that was long and drawn out and I don't really get it at all. Why would a flower talk? Does Sid know anything about finding himself?" The last bit I do. The "Rose" was the flower that I thought of when I wrote the story in 5th grade.

I think that is the first time I have mentioned that story since I was that age. Wow.

I'm going to dream world again. Well actually I'm staying awake, but in my mind it's dream world.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A story I remembered

Once upon a time there was a boy. This boy loved exploring new things. He loved to go around his town with friends and find new ways home, new ways around town, and new things that he had never before noticed in the town.

One day while he was out and about on a hot summers day he found a very large hole in the ground. He looked into this hole and was scared. Where did this hole come from? He was 12 years old, he knew everything there was to know about this town. He had spent countless days exploring, and yet he had no idea where this hole came from. It seemed to be and endless pit with no end in sight.

The first thing he did was run to his friend and tell him about this hole. They both ran outside and to this pit the boy had found. It was an amazing sight for both of them. It had dirt all around the outside and a what seemed to be a cave mouth on the inside. While the boys were exploring they noticed that there was a dirt ramp leading down to the came mouth. Being the boys they were, they went down that ramp and went into the cave.

Now they boys were always ready for any type of adventure so of course they had flashlights. Flashlights shining bright they did what they knew best and explored. The boys had never seen anything like this. The walls where shining and there seemed to be needles hanging from the ceiling. The trail they walked was littered pebbles and and needles from the floor just like the ceiling ones.

After an eternity they boys saw no more light from the outside and realized that they didn't know the way out. The boys became scared but remembered that they were adventurers and must not show fear. The boys turned around and headed to what they thought was the way out. They came to a for in the cave they hadn't noticed before and didn't know what to do. After a debate and a heated game of Rock Paper Scissors they chose to go left. Continuing on this path for a while they began to see what was a glimmer of light.

The boys began to run with excitement and just as they were about to get to the end, there was a rumble. Now even though the boys were fearless, they were scared. The cave was rumbling and the ground was shaking madly. The boys were frozen for a moment and then out of no where ran faster then they ever had before. With the cave still rumbling the ceiling began to fall. The friend jumped out of the the cave just in time to avoid being caved in. Our discoverer of the hole how ever was not as lucky.

The boys yelled at each other and the friend said he would go get help. Our brave explorer was trapped in this cave while he waited for help. He kept the light on as long as he could. The cave was dark and scary. There were sounds coming from the cave that he hadn't noticed while walking around. The light was flickering on and off and they boy became more afraid. The light went out completely, the boy seemed to be with out hope. They boy began to cry and held himself in this scary place.

From just above him a voice was heard. A soothing voice that the boy had no reason to be afraid of. The voice asked "Hello there boy, are you ok?" They boy responded with a shallow "No, no, I'm scared." The voice replied with "Why are you scared? Is it because there is no longer any light?" The boy answered "Yes. How am I supposed to be ok when I don't know where I am and when I feel like no one will ever come to help me?" "Well," the voice said "I can help with that." There was a flash of light and the cave was all of a sudden shinning as bright as a summers day. The boy looked around for the body that went along with that voice. This person was no where to be found.

"Look up boy." The boy looked up but still saw no body. All he saw was a flower. A rose to be exact. "Hello boy." The boy was confused and didn't know how to respond. How was the flower talking? Where did that light come from? Why was he not scared of this talking plant? All questions that he didn't know the answer to. "You are a talking rose?" the boy asked. "Yes, indeed I am." the rose answered softly. "Well where did this light come from" egerly asked the boy. "The light came from the cave of course. It is what happens when there is no outside light coming in." answered the flower. "Oh, that makes sense." said the boy.

"You should wake up though boy. Your friend is back and the cave is open."
"What? I thought that I was awake?"
"You are awake. You aren't scared anymore."
"When did that happen?"
"Just now. When you found out that there was light inside of you instead of looking around for other sources."
"I thought that was you who made the light?"
"No, it was you. You being able to look to yourself rather then to others."
"Is that a good thing?"
"It is a good thing indeed."
"Well thank you."
"For what?"
"Talking to me while I was scared I guess. I'm not sure."
"Goodbye boy."
"Goodbye rose."

The boy was waken up by his friend and his father. The boy tried to tell the story, but no one would listen to him. The boy went on with his summer and had many more adventures, but he always remembered that flower. The rose that helped him find that light he needed so much when he was scared.

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I wrote that when was in 5th grade I think. I added some stuff but it's just a better version I guess. Thanks for reading it.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Inspired

I'm inspired to write.

So I'm writing. What is it that I'm inspired about?

There really isn't anything that I want to talk about.

I shaved my face but that was a while ago.

Well I'm sorry that it was lame.

Well then, ok...have a good day.