I think that only one person out of anyone who reads this blog will get it. I'm not even sure what I'm about to write or why. It is currently 5:40 in the am and I Sidney Bernard Raskind am about to cry. I know why but I can't admit it even to myself.
Things that I am scared of:
1) not knowing what or who I am.
2) looking back on my life and seeing all the mistakes I have made and not being able to fix them at all.
3) Ending up like my father, alone with a family that dislikes him and bridges burned to all hell.
4) That high school was the prime time of my life
I just looked back on my past and started to cry. Only a little bit. Now I am done.
It must be when it gets so early in the morning without sleep that I get like this. Also when I make contact with something that I haven't thought about in a really long time. Completely tried to forget even. Blocked off networking sites to make my life easier.
I fucking hate when i get like this. The sun is rising and it's a new day. I just remembered all the things that are good in my life now.
I'm so fucking bi-polar sometimes it's ridiculous. Is there a pill for that?
P.S. I'm still wearing all my clothes from yesterday. Fully. Why don't i put on PJs when I get home? Why don't I get comfortable? I don't get it as much as Kristen doesn't. Am I odd?
About Me
- Squid565
- I'm in the good Ole RVA. I'm a student with thoughts in my head all the time. I'm a YouTuber to the max. I love talking about Comics.
1 comment:
Ofc you're not odd.
It's completely normal to get release of emotions like that from time to time. It does not mean you're bipolar whatsoever, thats nonsense!
I think your fears are legitimate fears, and i think we all fear the same things you do on the inside.
Theres no use frowning for mistakes made in the past, because there's nothing you can do about them now, and frankly, you just wouldnt be the same person without those mistakes made. You wouldnt have learnt the things you have to this day.
The important thing is to always keep in mind the good things you have in your life right now and embrace new chapters in life. Each part of life its exciting in its own way.
And i think you should allow yourself to be overwhelmed by such feelings once in a while. It's only natural to be scared. As long as you dont let those sad feelings be permanent, then you should be just fine. But crying is okay for a guy, you know? So feel free to do it if you ever feel like it anyway :)
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