Breath In and Out.

I woke up at 6:30am to go to a 7am yoga class. I actually got up and did it. I was impressed with myself. The waking up was the hardest part for me. It was 18 degrees outside when i left for the class. The class itself was held at the gym a few blocks away. To say the least it was still very cold walking the short distance.

I got in there and saw that people were already set up so i got a mat and sat down. I don't think i have been that relaxed in a long time. The start of the class was just relaxation. It was great.

Over the hour class we did many different exercises. They all in some way helped me relax. I think the key to it all was the breathing. I had to get some of it down before i could really feel the stretch take effect, but it was my first time doing it so it's ok.

At one point the sun was rising and you could see it through the windows. It was so nice to see that orange color. It made it that much more relaxing. I was just thinking, "That is beautiful, I'm up early enough to see the sun come up while I'm doing Yoga. Cool."

I'm really feeling more centered about a lot of stuff.

I can't wait till next Wednesday.

Fuck Knees

I saw something today that I didn't think I would ever see. I saw one of the happiest people I know cry. This is one of my closest friends and some one who has always helped me through the hardest times that I've had recently.

What do you do when some one that means so much to you breaks down like that? I had to be strong for that person. I had to be the one to help them through the tough time. I think I did a good job too. I hugged, I held and I comforted. (I don't know if that is a word)

It scared me to see that person like that. It was almost like seeing a parent break down for the first time. You don't know how to react, but you do the best you can.

The stories that you told were heart wrenching.

I hope that i have conveyed well enough how much it effected me to see you like that. Be strong man. I'm scared too.

I will help you through it all if i have to. I hope that you know that. you have helped me through so much and you are like family to me.

Title Unknown

So over the past few days all I have been is sick. It's nothing more then a cold. It was a bad one though. My body ached and my nose would not stop leaking. The only way I got to sleep was by taking medicine. If you know me well, you know that I hate taking medicine. Today wasn't that bad, so that is a plus.

I haven't been to shafer once yet. I decided not to get a meal plan this semester. Over the winter break and a few days before I left, I liked not having to go to shafer to eat. I liked having food in my own apartment. Over the month long break I didn't eat at shafer obviously. When I was in Florida I didn't go to the dinning hall at Elizabeths school. I cooked chicken pot pie and liked doing it. I liked having the left overs and I liked making something for myself. So this semester for the most part I'm not going to shafer. I'm going to be learning how to cook. I'll be making dinner, lunch and whatever else in my apartment. I think it's good. I think its better I learn how to cook anyway.

Over the week I have gone to the gym more. It's a good feeling. I want to start doing Yoga too. Even though it's a 7 in the morning I think it will help me relax. My schedual allows me a free afternoon on Fridays so that means i get to play Dogeball!!! I'm so excited for that. I just found out that it isn't called Dogeball though, it's called "Medicball". It's still the same though, so it's cool.

I've been thanking about sky diving in the past few days. My broher-in-law does it and seeing a video on let me in on how cool it would be.

Bullet Bill is the Man

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are my "busy" days. That is when I have most of my classes. Russian at 11, Math at 12, and Physics at 1. On Wednesdays I have a class at 7pm-9:40pm. Once a week. Tuesdays and Thursdays the only class I have is Russian. There is a HUGE perk to my Russian class. The building that it's in is literally behind my apartment building. I can see the building when I walk out the back door of the building.

When it comes to jobs though, that is a different story. I work 6 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays after my one class. On Wednesdays I work 2-6. That is the front desk job at the SMC. There is no reason for me to be there until 6 on the days that I'm working but my boss said it was cool if I stayed an extra hour.

I finally mailed in all the paper work for my Campus Rep Job, so that's cool. I really hope I did it all the right way.

I don't think that I'm going to have my radio show anymore. I just don't think that Julian or my self will have the time this semester. I'm a part of the station so much already so I think it's ok if I don't have the show. I'm still going to buy the comics. I'm not sure about the show though.

Guy Richie is the man

I'm sitting in my apartment with the bros. We are playing DragonballZ Budokai Tenkaichi 3. I love this game. I guess I'm being anti social right now, but I'm not playing so it's ok.

Well John just showed up. Nate came with him. More bros have come.

I went to the gym yesterday. Man, I'm sore this morning. It was the first time I lifted in a long time. I liked it though. It felt good.

Classes start tomorrow. Since I messed up so much last semester I'm bassically retaking last semester. I have one new class and that is Introduction to the Old Testament. I have to go buy that book. I think I want to do it now.

P.S. Revolver is a good movie. Thanks to my older sister I have found good movies. Thanks Beth... :)

One carry on

I'm in the JAX airport right now. This is the first time I have ever traveled on a plane by myself. The security was insane but not as time consuming as I thought it was going to be. The last time I flew anywhere was five years ago I think. So to say the least the security has changed a bit. I had to take out my laptop and all electronic devices. All that jazz was intense to me.

Nappi let me in on some stuff that annoyed him when he is going through security, so i tried to remember that when I was going through.

Now I'm just waiting for my flight.

One thing I do like though, the accommodations for laptops and the free internet. It's nice.

I forgot my headphones though. They are in Richmond and it blows. I hope i get some shitty free ones on the flight to the ATL.

I'm going to film some and then read comics.

Despondent

I woke up about 15 minutes ago. I woke up to thoughts of Lisa. Every morning I wake up to thoughts of Lisa. I've been doing my best to respect her wishes. Yeah I texted her a few times, and I've called her to no avail. I left messages with the sense that she wasn't going to call me back. I try not to go to her facebook page or her blog. After doing something for two plus years though it's hard not to do those things. The internet makes this stuff harder I think.

Some people think that the internet isn't real life. I tend to think the opposite. I have made great friends on here and now I'm hanging out with them. All that not possible with out the internet. Social interactions happen through the internet now. That's just the way it is. Events are planed, full conversations are had that are brought up in conversation later face to face. Thoughts are published that are truly what that person is thinking. so to say that the internet isn't real life, to me, can't be true.

I wake up and think of how much I hurt this person that I love so much. I wake up and think of how much happiness we had. I wake up and think about how much happiness I still want to have. But you see that is the key problem is "I". Now I don't mean to be selfish about this relationship and I have explained that to Lisa many times over, but it is hard not to say "I" when it involves only two people. I'm sorry if I seem selfish.

Over the break I tried many times just to have what I thought was best. I would find out that I wasn't best at all. I tried to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button three times and only just saw it when I got to Florida. The last time Lisa and I spoke was the second time I tried to see it. Now that I think about it the first and second time I tried to see it was with Lisa. Sorry if that was off topic but it was really annoying not to see that movie so many times.

She said that she need a true break. Time to just get everything straight. I'm holding on when I don't know if I should be. I've always been one to hold on though. Lisa knows that. One of those things that you learn about someone only through being around them a lot. Lisa and I always did things together. We were always the couple that made decisions about what we were going to do long term together.

So what now do you ask? I don't know. I really don't. We went through so much shit, that I guess I caused. Wow, that sucks to say.

For the next few days I'm here in Florida. I'm here to just relax and not think about anything. Even though I think about everything all the time.

To pass you need citrus fruit

This is starting out a short post. Maybe it will stay that way.

Right now I'm in Florida. Uhhh, Sid, when did you go to Florida? Well on Saturday. Ok, shy are you in Florida? Well Elizabeth was driving down and I went with her. Alright when are you going to Richmond? Friday afternoon is my plane and I get in that night. Oh alright.

Well how is it down there? It's nice. I really like the weather and the people. Not going to lie, if I could go here I would. I'm still in that honey moon effect though. I do love it though. I can see why people come here to die.

The coolest thing happened to me this week though. Oh yeah! What was that? I GOT TO MEET LIZZIE AND BRETT!!! It was so cool. I don't think that it could have been any cooler then the way it was. It wasn't awkward at all. It was so fucking cool to see them both in person. When you make a friend on the internet you get to know them so well. People are used to meeting and getting to know people like that in person not online. When you meet and get to know people on the web all you know is the internet people. When I actually met Lizzie and Brett it was almost surreal. I really couldn't believe that they were real people. But it was great. So great.

Check out my youtube page for a feel of where I'm staying.

I'm happy to be here with Elizabeth too. She is in class most of the week and busy with class. So not being rude.

WOOT WOOT!

Hello '09

Another year has gone by. When did that year happen is what I want to know? Really though. I can look at this past year and be happy with a lot of things that I did. I went to a four year college in less time then people thought I could, I set up my own radio show on comic books with a good friend, I made some really good friends, and I joined the Ultimate Team. I feel like that is the list of things I did this year. Well the things that I can remember off hand.

Now most of us all know that shit hit the fan in a real bad kind of way with my love life. If you don't know that...It happened. That, as of right now is all I can think about. It's all I wake up to every morning. I wake up and think "God your a shit head, hey but good job on being a shit. You are really good at it!" I can't think about anything else. I barely force myself to get out of bed in the morning. FUCK THAT! When I do get out though it's fine...ish.

The end of the year was not a good one. It really wasn't.

I hope you call me back.